Your AVG Joe []

Im at the point where im reflecting on things and truly feel like im losing the only person worth a damn in my life. Yes, life is rough right now. no, things are not perfect but that does not mean i have to give up on life. I cant let things beat me down. In the process of forgetting what im all about and beating meself up iv been slowing chipping away at the only persons thats had my back NOW THEY WANT OUT..and i cant blame them. If something is no longer good for you its just the smart thing to do..

I dont want thoughts of the past keeping Her around making her compromise her way of life i want Her to stay purely because of the present and hope for the future “the kind found in a parking lot at 1AM” which i know is asking alot at this point. I hope im still worth it. I dont care about the past anymore we ALL Make mistakes i have to deal with my own and learn from them to be happy. I have no clue why iv been doing this whenever things are calm i have to reach into my fucked up head to find a problem instead of enjoying the happiness. I cant be weak and depressed anymore it helps nothing i have to go back an be the person i was to get my life on track an to hopefully earn back the trust and love i had.IV BEEN FUCKING UP. IF I FEEL TRUE LOVE IN MY HEART IT SHOULD BE SEEN IN MY ACTIONS AND FELT IN MY WORDS. please forgive me, Iv been selfish its not all about me…Life is to short to not enjoy what you have been blessed with. The very fact you are in my life is a blessing and a privilege that i simply cant live without. Im refocused and ready to face the world but i can never look in another mirror if i cant stop this..I love you entirely to much for that.Iv regained motivation i want a new car, money, a house,clothes an ect but for the rest of my life all i NEED is you and your love. Iv got a taste of great communication an pure happiness with you an i refuse to not have that again I will fight for you. never in my life have i spoken anything from my heart with as much clarity and determination as much as this.. “Laura, Im literally praying for us to work this out. please forgive me i love you and my goal is for you to never doubt your happiness while im around. You make me believe in true love. Your so special idk what id do without you by my side.” i have the utmost trust and respect for you and there is no record of wrongs but my own and thats just to serve as a reminder. I love you Beyond words an want you around the rest of my life. You are my sunshine. All I want is to be able to brighten your day the same. Or for now at least, be Friends.